(For entertainment purposes only. Not intended to be taken seriously or to offend anyone!)
With apologies to David Letterman, here are your Top Ten Reasons Brad Stevens left Butler for the Celtics:
10. When the Butler football team is winning almost as much as the basketball team, it's time to go.
9. Just can't stand being so far away from Bobby Fong.
8. Green is actually Tracy's favorite color.
7. Opportunity to coach in another historic old gym. The Celtics still play in Boston Garden, right?
6. Leaving to protest David Woods being taken off the IndyStar Butler beat.
5. It just won't be the same at Butler with Blue II in retirement.
4. All part of my secret plan to destroy the New England Patriots.
3. Tired of all the over-the-top fan events at Butler.
2. It's just one part of a very complex deal that brought Larry Bird back to the Pacers.
And the number one reason Brad Stevens left Butler for the Celtics...
1. Completes the perfect practical joke on Matthew Graves!